Sunday, April 19, 2009

This Hits a Little Too Close to Home....

I'll admit -- I'm up way past (what should be ;) my bedtime right now.  However, this touched me so much that I just had to do a quick blog about it.

I was just about to go to bed a little bit ago when I ran across this made for TV movie, "Out of Darkness".  It stars Diana Ross as a paranoid schizophrenic who spends the movie struggling with her illness, voices, delusions, medication, treatment, work, family and real-life issues related to being mentally ill. She is shown having almost violent delusions at times (at one point she rips apart the bathroom in a half-way house she is staying at).   She also deals with the effect her illness has on her family (including a 10 year old daughter that is constantly worried that she will become sick too).  

Any of my readers who know me personally probably know were I'm going with all of this.  My own mother also just so happens to be a paranoid schizophrenic.  I'm certainly not disclosing this for pity purposes (I don't need or want it. You can keep that for yourself -- thanks).  It's just that I have nothing to hide and I am not ashamed of my mother or her illness. She's still my beautiful mommy.:)

Besides that, I can't sit here and say that there aren't some obvious parallels from this movie that mirror my own life / upbringing seeing my mother deal with her own schizophrenia.  It was a little hard for me to watch, but this is basically my story in movie form.....Diana Ross is just playing the part of my mom -- haha ;)

(I probably couldn't ask for a more beautiful woman to portray a more beautiful woman...inside and out ;)

*Ahem* Anyway -- I just felt like sharing that because it was just so strange to look up at random and see this movie that I related to so personally.  Throughout my life, I have generally struggled to find things on TV or in the movies that I could see that particular facet of my life in .As much as it hit home for me, it was refreshing to see a realistic depiction of a person living with and working through a mental illness.  I'm not saying that there are no realistic depictions of the mentally ill.   However, for every media depiction of a "functional" and non-violent person with mental illness such as schizophrenia, there are 100 more movies with the mass murdering type of  mentally ill portrayal. While I get that such people exist, this isn't every person who is mentally ill. That's how stereotypes get started and it honestly makes me pretty upset. It was kind of nice to see a representation of the day to day goings on of a mentally ill person which was a little less sensationalized.   

I have tried (in vain) to locate a copy of this to have for myself.  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why this movie would be valuable to me.  However -- apparently, since it was a relatively obscure TV movie, it's really hard to track down now-a-days.  That's a real shame.  Not only is it such a powerful movie for me because of my personal experience with the subject, but Diana Ross did an amazing job depicting a paranoid schizophrenic in the midst of her illness (I should know --- I've witnessed it).  I'm not sure why she didn't get more recognition for her acting here....hmmmm.

Anyway, I could go on for pages about this.  However, as I stated before -- I really do need to go to bed. :)

Good Night, folks!


  1. Diana Ross was incredibly real to life in her portrayal of a schizoprenic. She great at playing these roles like she did with Bille Holiday's story in "Lady Sings The Blues."

    For more information on Diana, please check out Dick's Diana Ross Website at

    Thnak you for your support!

  2. sometimes you can go on ebay or a diana ross fan site and find it! I have it somewhere on VHS but dont know how to put it DVD! also if you keep checking Dick's Diana Ross website's "on TV" section you might find that it re-airs soon and you can tape it for free! Goodluck!